Our Glorious History, Part VI

<grisom> I've decided that not even Jesus can alter the navel of the world. However, it is conceivable that the world's navel will relocate when the world is reborn four years from now. Hopefully the new location, if any, will become obvious at that time.

<grisom> Oh! Almost forgot: One key thing that I do not know is when a day starts. The Western world has for the past while started the day at midnight; the Jews (and, I think, Muslims) start the day at sundown; I think much of East Africa starts the day at sunrise. I have no idea what the Mayans and Egyptians did.

<grisom> As I mentioned earlier: When does the day start and end?

"The Jewish day begins at either sunset or at nightfall (when three second-magnitude stars appear). Medieval Europe followed this tradition, known as Florentine reckoning: in this system, a reference like "two hours into the day" meant two hours after sunset and thus times during the evening need to be shifted back one calendar day in modern reckoning."
"The Islamic and Jewish weekdays begin at sunset."

"In ancient Egypt, the day was reckoned from sunrise to sunrise."

"Present common convention is for the civil day to begin at midnight."
"According to Slavic folklore, midnight was time when strzygas rose from graves to suck the blood of mortals, zmoras assailed the sleeping to steal their breath, and devils came for sinners. Polish Jews believed that it was the time when dybbuks possessed people, causing insanity."

<umunmutamku> YES

<grisom> *stares* Okay, I... didn't realize this would be such an easy choice. :)

Unless there are any objections, then, I say the day of the winter solstice, and the leap year, is determined by MIDNIGHT at the DELPHI MERIDIAN. This turns out to be *checks* an offset of almost exactly one and a half hours from GMT. Which, magically enough, is halfway between the time zones of France and Egypt.

<umunmutamku> So when Itzpapalotl leads the tzitzimime in a swarm down from the cracks in the sky, it'll presumably happen at exactly midnight. :)

<grisom> Ew. What?

Overheard earlier

“Is it that building next to... that place we frequent from time to time?”

“Um...”

“It has frozen bananas.... University!”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“They have frozen bananas at the university?”

“...no.”

A clarification

(adapted from tezcatlipoca)

Mood-Music II

Music: Awesome Colour --> Pink Mountaintops -->Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Mood: Good.
I have to be in /just/ the right mood for BMRC. Awesome Colour and Pink Mountaintops were great preperation. It's like getting your heart rate up before working out. I've done my stretches, so I can get into BMRC, otherwise I can't do it. I think in "album" terms, BMRC might be the best, even if I don't like it the most. I've never listened to Axis of Evol before--it's good, but it deserves a few more listens before I make any claims on it. Awesome Color is much better than the Pitchfork review would lead you to believe, even if it is, like, one song played eight times (but the eighth time is the best, it makes you want to start the album over again). I want to start a band, and call it "Awesome Colour", 'cause, y'know, we'd be /Canadian/... Baby 81 was one of the few releases that we were allowed to listen to at the record store that I /didn't/ despise, and for that, it holds a special place in my heart.

Mood-Music I

Music: Anticon Giga-Single
Mood: Better, with a slight, /slight/, dash of militancy

Our Glorious History, Part V

More More More!

<grisom> One interesting result of a strictly solstice-based calendar is that, since solstice is a moment in time rather than an actual day, it becomes significant what time zone is used to adjust the calendar year. The above Uayeb calculation is true only for time zones east of Alberta (and west of the International Date Line).

So! There are different ways of approaching this:

a) Every time zone could do their own slightly different calendar.
b) We could establish a reference time zone for the calendar.
c) We could establish a simple mathematical approximation of the wandering solstice similar to what the Gregorian calendar does with leap years.

I'm partial to (b),

<umunmutamku> I, too.

<grisom> but I'm not sure what time zone would be appropriate. Any thoughts?

<umunmutamku> Well, my first inclination would be the navel of the world—Delphi. But it is my understanding that Jesus destroyed Delphi (or something like that),

<grisom> HEE

<umunmutamku> so perhaps someplace new is now the center of the world.

<grisom> Well, we are getting this calendar from the following sources:
- Egypt
- France
- Maya... um... land

Any of these time zones work with the empirically-established Uayeb, but they are, y'know, not the same.

<grisom> (I'm just assuming here that the Gestalt forbids the reference time zone to be that of Alberta ;))

Let's Commodify Sexuality

I've never seen a scene like this. It's not like the parties we have. I like it too much.

Screw just because you want to. Screw because it's fun. Screw because they don't want you to.

No useless leniency. Capture the crests Capture the violence

Make it accessible Make it sing our song.

I wear pink because all the girls do. How about you?

Transitions are smooth with a hand up my skirt.

Sex sells more records than rock.

So let's fuck and forget the background hum.

A graphic depiction of the state of international relations in pre-WWI Europe. Italy joined the Triple Entente in April 1915.

GRAND THEFT AUTO: KONNNICHIWA BITCHES!

I am a gay Japanese gangster in a GTA-style game; I am on a rampage; ... forget why ... I have a boyfriend and am groping him, sucking his cock

Ambient Music

How is one supposed to discuss "ambient" music? (or should it be "ambient music"?)This stems off of the whole, "how does one discuss music at all?" issue. I don't want to simply list of a string of adjectives that bear little meaning outside of my individual world-view, but how else can it be described at all?

Specifically: "Gravitational Pull vs. The Desire for an Aquatic Life", how am I supposed to discuss this?I mean, /I/ think this is a great album, except for the time I was awfully tripping-balls... but even then, I chose it because it was one of the most soothing and mellow records I owned, even if in the end it was still /too intense/ for that trip...

So fuck it, why not simply /embrace/ the subjective?

I've owned this album for a good long while now. I bought it, probably, during my first semester at University. I remember spending my three-hour break between history and philosophy sleeping in the St. Josephs college student lounge, listening to this record. Am I subtlely saying this album will put you to sleep? No, but I'm saying this album is /great/ to fall asleep to. Around this time I was also listening to the first cLOUDDEAD album nearly every day (in fact, in that two-year period, I probably listened to cLOUDDEAD 1.5 times a day, on average) So as a triumvirate, I propose SOTL-cLOUDDEAD-Boards of Canada (because they just /fit/, even if I never bought their albums) BoC has the distinction of being one of the first "cool" bands I was aware of (also Plaid--hey umu, remember Plaid? what was that song of thiers I liked?)

I was going to complain about how the song titles are essentially meaningless to me, and mention how indistinguishable the songs themselves are. But that's not to say they aren't "songs", and despite the pace, they do have their own melodies, and they're just as legitimate as any other melodies (in fact, even more legitimate that a lot of "melodies" propagated by Of Montreal, for example)

Initially I wanted to pair this with a discussion of "At All Ends" by dee Yellow Swans, but I think I'll save that discussion for another time. (or possibly later today, depending on how I feel)

GWB in Calgary

"The U.S. is blessed as an importer of hydrocarbons to have our major supplier in Canada. To put that in perspective, look at Venezuela as our major supplier," he said to applause. "
What GWB doesn't understand, possibly because he's either evil or retarded, is /why/ Venezuela isn't a good supplier to the US. Think of it as if Canada, the US, and Venezuela were all neighbors. The US needs oil from one of it's neighbors. Now, say you're Venezuela, and the US just keeps barging in, killing and raping your family members, and stealing all your stuff & money, and giving it to their rich friends. Would you want to give your oil to the US, or would you get up in front of the United Nations and start referring to the US as "The Great Satan"?
It's not that hard to figure out. If you kill, and rape, and steal from people, they are /not/ going to like you. Figure it out you retarded assholes.

Arian Baptistry

Hey zeus, that Jesus looks a-mighty feminine... and who's that a-bearded fella that isn't John the Baptist?

Don't Worry Mom

SHOOBY TAYLOR - "LIFT EVERY VOICE AND SING"

Shoo soo soo waah
Shwee daa
Shraa laa laa wee wheet doo saaw
Shraa laa laa haaw
Dweet dee blaa
Dweet dee saaw daa raaaw

Laa daa daa shree
Low kuu paa
Laa daa daa shraa
Wheet dee saaw
Laa daa daa raaw
Wee da da saaw pee paaw
Squidle ya doughbee
Squidle ya dhat doe bee bee

Wee daa raaw, saaw baa daa haaw
Saa laa raaw, saaw baa haaw, yaw
Wee daa saaw, haa baa daaw shraw
'nd raaw, 'pd paaw, sidle ya doughbee
Shraw tittle yaa doughbee
'ndweet, shooby splaw
Shaw baa laa raaw, sidle' yaa doot in dee splaa
Shaaw baa laa raaw, swwe willy plaaw
fri-lilly waaw, ee shwaaw
Fill-lilly doo daa laa ba, doodl-la-da

Be-be dootn' dwaydn' shwidlya-do-da-la-ba doodle-ya-d'
Be-be dootn' bidnn dooblle-ya lnn doodle-ya-doo-lay
Dah-bay dootin' la-diddle-ditn' doo-la-la bey do-lay dotin' dwee-bee
Day-ton doo-ba-la la ren-den di-di-la-la-ren doh-day dootin'
Dway-pee-papi papi papi, Daw-pee dapi dapi dapi
Retibala to-ta-la-ba trid'ln tra-la,
Da-ba-la-ra fay tid'la tee-la-ba tridle-ya dotin' dwee-bee
do-do-dohtin' didle'-ya dotin' dwee-bay dotin' dwee-bay

Shree shraw haaw, shraw-ba-la-ra shaw-la-raw sa-la, eep sid'le ya-plaw-me
Shraw saw raw, shaw ba-da-raw ba-la-raw ba-la-
Swaaw sidle' ya-dee-bee, raw sidle' ya-dough-be-do dwee sidle' ya-dotin' do swaaw
La-be dotin' dwee swidle' ya-dotin' do raw
Sha-la-la-swaw, shaw-la-la-plaaaaw ee-daa
Sidle' ya-do da, dwit'n do-rrrraaaw

(Groovy Organ Solo)


Swee shaaw raw, sa-ba-da-raw sa-la-raw sa-la haaw-daw
Shraw daw saw, sha-ba-da-raw, sa-la-ra-sa-la
Haaw didle' ya-da-da, draw sidle' ya-dough-be dotin'
Dway sidle' ya-dweetin' de-splaw
Dough-dough dotin' dwaitin' spwidle'-ya do-do-do traw
Low-bay dootin' dawy sidle'-ya-do-da-la-pay
Didl'e-ya dootin' whhat me
be-be dotin', be-bay dotin'
Dweetin' de-shraawwww

Our Glorious History: An Interlude

<grisom> the Persians have the most accurate calendar in the world. It has an error of about one day every three thousand years.

<grisom> Correction: The Persians have the most accurate calendar in the world. It has an error of about one day every THIRTY thousand years.

Apparently I'm a 'P.C. Fascist' (Because I care about both human /and/ non-human animals)

Some of my otherwise brilliant and productive friends (like scoundrels and their flags) take final refuge in character assassinations; they ignore the issue, and deny all relation between our consumption and brutality.  So you can go ahead and roll your eyes, and marginalize me/socially penalize me: play on insecurities.  And you can feign ignorance, but you're not stupid, you're just selfish, and you're a slave to impulse.  

I kinda thought we all shared common threads, in that we gravitated "here" to challenge conventions we've been fed by a culture that treats (living, breathing, feeling) creatures like (biological) machines.  And if you happen to buy that shit, then how long 'till it's me who serves as your commodity?  Through (for example) institutionalized violence, and oppression of workers, and women raped by sexism(and how about native americans?).  Do you still insist on feigning indignance (aka: indignation) to reason?  To collective self-interest?  

Tell you what, I'll call you on your shit, PLEASE CALL ME ON MINE.  Then we can grow together, and make this shit-hole planet better in time.  So why not consider someone else: STOP CONSUMING ANIMALS 

Crack-Cocaine

So some of you may be a-wonderin' "Hey, what's with the new look?"

...and some of you may be wondering as well, "Wait, are you /not/ pushing the militant queer nationalist agenda?" 

I will address the first last and the second first, 

2. If you knew /anything/ about the Militant Queer Nationalist agenda, you wouldn't be asking this question.  It's kinda like being circumcised, once you've entered into the covenant of the Lords chosen people, you can't go back on it.  You carry it with you perpetually.

1. I will buy you crack.  I'm not kidding.  I will buy you crack-cocaine, but /only/ if you smoke it, and while smoking it, you allow me to photograph you doing it.  Maybe you'll also have to let me film it, and maybe I'll add some background music as well.  That's the deal.  Any takers?

DEAR APPLE: FUCK YOU ASSHOLES

Word of advice: never update your iPod firmware. I did a while ago and now my iPod randomly reboots in the middle of songs, in the process completely erasing any playlists I was trying to listen to. Even if I explicitly save them.

"Well!" you say. "You should downgrade your firmware back to the original version." GUESS WHAT? The only way to do that is to completely erase everything on the iPod. This would be no problem if I had easy access to all my music and could just re-load it; but I've been using my iPod as a storage device to save on hard drive space. GUESS WHAT? There is also no way to get my damn music off my iPod for backup.

ASSHOLES.

Will Ferrell is the new Aristophanes

Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diago, which of course in German means "a whale's vagina".
Veronica Corningstone: [pause] No, there's no way that's correct.

Our fine philologue Umumuntamku has talked a lot (though not necessarily on this blog) about how the Greek comic hero tends to combine two qualities that might seem contradictory:

• he is utterly vile in almost every conceivable way
• he nevertheless carries the play's moral message, by doing something the author wants everyone else to imitate

Umu tends to present this dichotomy as being a curious product of old Greek "shame culture", not necessarily comprehensible to a modern Western audience. I REFUTE HIM THUS.

At the start of the movie Ron Burgundy is obnoxious and stupid*. By the end of the movie he is still obnoxious and stupid, but he has also reversed his initial sexism and accepted a lady as co-anchor, giving the film its moral message.

Uh... so there!

* And hilarious!

haters, hatters, & ballers