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Friday, May 29, 2009

Our Glorious History, Part The Last

<umu> So can you give a succinct account of the new calendar, its months, its days, and its relationship with the final day? I want to somehow get myself set up here to be cognizant of how it's all going down.

<grisom> Aight.

THE YEAR begins on the day of the Winter Solstice (Delphi time, i.e. GMT+1.5 hours) and ends on the day before the next Winter Solstice. It has 365 or 366 days. Because the start of the year is determined by events in the natural world, there is no simple algorithm for determining which years are leap years. Because of the vagaries of the Gregorian calendar, the true year may start anywhere between 20 December and 23 December, but I think it's usually 21 December.

The year beginning on the Gregorian date 21 December 2012 is Year 0. The years following it are numbered 1, 2, 3, etc. The years before Year 0 are given negative numbers. All years, even the negative ones, are considered to be part of the reign of Our Terrible Lord. Therefore the year number is preceded by the initials A.E.D., meaning Anno Excoriati Domini "In the Year of Our Lord the Flayed One".

THE MONTHS:
There are twelve months of exactly thirty days each, plus an extra five or six days at the end of the year when evil spirits roam free.

Each month has two names, based on the closest corresponding months in the French Republican and Ancient Egyptian calendars. Here are the names, with the most commonly corresponding Gregorian dates*. I am not completely certain about the Egyptian correspondences here. They are based on the idea that the month of Thoth was originally meant to start on the 20th of July.

Nivôse/Mshir: 21 December - 19 January
Pluviôse/Parmhotp: 20 January - 18 February
Ventôse/Parmoute: 19 February - 20 March
Germinal/Pashons: 21 March - 19 April
Floréal/Paone: 20 April - 19 May
Prairial/Epip: 20 May - 18 June
Messidor/Mesore: 19 June - 18 July
Thermidor/Thout: 19 July - 17 August
Fructidor/Paope: 18 August - 16 September
Vendémiaire/Hathor: 17 September - 16 October
Brumaire/Koiak: 17 October - 15 November
Frimaire/Tobe: 16 November - 15 December

The Uayeb: 16-20 December

THE WEEK: Each month can be subdivided into three ten-day weeks. I'm not convinced that it is especially useful to have names for the days of the week in this system, but if necessary we can use the Republican names: primidi, duodi, tridi, quartidi, quintidi, sextidi, septidi, octidi, nonidi, décadi.

THE CURRENT DATE is 10 Nivôse-Mshir -4 10 Prairial-Epip A.E.D. –4.

THE END/BEGINNING OF THE WORLD will occur on 1 Nivôse-Mshir 0.

Footnote:

* i.e. the equivalent dates when the year starts on 21 December and neither the Gregorian year nor the cult year are leap years.

1 comment:

grisom said...

BY THE WAY I am now completely certain about the Egyptian correspondences. I RULE

Maxims and minims for the wise and the foolish

  • LANGUAGE IS A HIERARCHICAL AUTHORITY
    A GOVERNMENT OF THE CONSCIOUSNESS — Tezcatlipoca
  • Whoever fights against the empire, becomes the empire. [or something along those lines] — Philip K. Dick [as told to Tezcatlipoca]
    • We’re not fighting the empire! We are the empire! Go away, or we'll smack you with this stick! — Tezcatlipoca
  • You don't have to be straight to shoot straight. — Barry Goldwater
    • Indeed, we must prevent life, which is frequently fatal. — Umunmutamku
      • There are also a number of legitimate scientific reasons for it as well (though I don't know what they are) — Tezcatlipoca
  • Instead of thinking of Scripture as a manual, I try to think of the Bible as ‘a boyfriend’. — punkrainbow
    • Your feelings are lying to you. — Jer 17:9
  • READ A BOOK, I'M SURE IT'S IN ONE OF THEM. — Tezcatlipoca
    • Books are full of bullshit and lies! — Tezcatlipoca
      • We will lie to you but we will lie to ourselves as well. You will, however, see through our lies and grasp the shining truth within. — The KLF
  • A Gnostic is by definition a knower, and since knowledge supersedes belief, a knower cannot very well be a believer. — Stephan A. Hoeller
    • talking about the great unknown is ridiculous. it’s THE GREAT UN-FUCKING-KNOWN — Anonymous
      • The enemy knows the system. — Claude Shannon

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