TODAY IS

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

True Story والله

<tezcatlipoca> Ahh Griz, you're wonderful (:
<grisom> Wanna inspect me for fecal matter later? :)
<tezcatlipoca> Later Grisom, later. (:
I mean, I know my cock is fucking huge (ever since I had an elephant cock grafted over top of my own) but I don't think it'll quite reach across the 10 blocks or so that separate us right now (:
<grisom> I didn't know that (about the elephant cock)
Luckily my anus is already well stretched from all that time fucking Umunmutamku, horses.
<tezcatlipoca> Yeah (about the elephant cock)
As I explained to Sean & Noel, the doctors were all like "this is stupid! You'll have no feeling!" and I don't, it's kinda like I'm wearing a huge leathery sock over my cock, and unless you stimulate only the very base of my cock, nothing happens.
I think I might've been drunk & high when I insisted on the procedure...
<grisom> So you're pretty much required to put it *allllll* the way in then :)
<tezcatlipoca> well, I would be, 'cept it's not really possible, 'cause of how they did the surgery...
<grisom> ? Do tell...
<tezcatlipoca> (truth is, I'm not quite sure what you were talking about)
but since there's no way that I could provide the blood necessary to make my elephant cock fully erect, they basically put a steel rod through it...
<grisom> I was saying that since you only have feeling at the base, you will have to insert your modified cock "up to the hilt", as it were
<tezcatlipoca> Ahh, yes indeed. Unfortunately that usually results in death or, at best, severe internal trauma for everyone who isn't an elephant, so sad to say, sex is rather unfulfilling these days. (but y'know what is fulfilling? Talking about my huge elephant cock (: )
<grisom> Well, as far as *our* plans for tonight go: You know how that Mirin Dajo guy had these like corridors of scar tissue through his body so you could stick a sword all the way through without hurting him? Yeah.
<tezcatlipoca> I don't know that Mirin Dajo guy,
but if yr saying what I think yr saying, I'm gonna be "giving you yr nutrients" as it were...
I'll have Jamee send you a picture of what I mean...

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Maxims and minims for the wise and the foolish

  • LANGUAGE IS A HIERARCHICAL AUTHORITY
    A GOVERNMENT OF THE CONSCIOUSNESS — Tezcatlipoca
  • Whoever fights against the empire, becomes the empire. [or something along those lines] — Philip K. Dick [as told to Tezcatlipoca]
    • We’re not fighting the empire! We are the empire! Go away, or we'll smack you with this stick! — Tezcatlipoca
  • You don't have to be straight to shoot straight. — Barry Goldwater
    • Indeed, we must prevent life, which is frequently fatal. — Umunmutamku
      • There are also a number of legitimate scientific reasons for it as well (though I don't know what they are) — Tezcatlipoca
  • Instead of thinking of Scripture as a manual, I try to think of the Bible as ‘a boyfriend’. — punkrainbow
    • Your feelings are lying to you. — Jer 17:9
  • READ A BOOK, I'M SURE IT'S IN ONE OF THEM. — Tezcatlipoca
    • Books are full of bullshit and lies! — Tezcatlipoca
      • We will lie to you but we will lie to ourselves as well. You will, however, see through our lies and grasp the shining truth within. — The KLF
  • A Gnostic is by definition a knower, and since knowledge supersedes belief, a knower cannot very well be a believer. — Stephan A. Hoeller
    • talking about the great unknown is ridiculous. it’s THE GREAT UN-FUCKING-KNOWN — Anonymous
      • The enemy knows the system. — Claude Shannon

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