The Kennedys

everything's fucked: get drunk, and get style, and get guns

Edmonton, Aug 16/09

IMMANENTIZING THE ESCHATON

The action of sneezing as captured on film.

Onomatopoeia
Some common English onomatopoeias for the sneeze sound are achoo, atchoo, achew, and atishoo, with the first syllable corresponding to the sudden intake of air, and the second to the sound of the sneeze.

A similar linguistic approach has been taken with several other languages; in French, the sound "Atchoum!" is used; in Finnish "Atsiuh!"; in Icelandic "Atsjú!"; in Norwegian "Atsjo!"; in Swedish "Atjo"; in Danish "Atju!"; in Dutch "Hatsjoe!" or "Hatsjie!"; in Hebrew and Lithuanian "Apchi!"; in German "Hatschie!"; in Estonian "Atsihh!" and "Aptsihh!"; in Hungarian "Hapci!" and "Hapcik!"; in Polish, "Apsik!"; in Russian , "Apchkhi!"; in Turkish, "Hapşu!"; in Italian, "Etciù!"; in Spanish "¡Achís!"; in Portuguese, "Atchim!"; in Romanian "Hapciu!" ; in Malayalam "Thummal"; in Filipino "Hatsing!"; in Japanese, "Hakushon!"; in Tamil, "Thummal"; in Telugu, "Akshi"; in Korean, "Achee!" and in Vietnamese, "Hát-xì!!". In Cypriot Greek, the word is "Apshoo!", incidentally also the name of a village, which is the cause of much mirth locally.

In Howards End, by E.M. Forster, a sneeze in polite society is "A-tissue" - a literary allusion to its respective remedy.

Para-sagittal MRI of the head

Para-sagittal MRI of the head

Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Fucking Awesome

I stumbled across this a long time ago, when the Internet was young and fresh, and have lately been bemoaning the fact that I haven't been able to find it again. Through the power of Google and this kind soul it has now been recovered!

A computer ritual, suitable to do before undertaking a complex programming task, debugging or connecting to Internet. Instead of a dagger, a calculator can be used, and a computer or terminal should be used as an altar.

Draw the CompSci Cross:

Stand before the altar. Point above the head and intone: "To Thee:". Visualise a shining light above you, sending down a perfect line of light.

Point to the floor and intone: "The Data". The line continues down, and develops regular markings.

Point to the right and intone: "The Code". A shining line extends to the right.

Point to the left and intone: "The Communications". The line extends to the left, and develops regular markings.

Cross the hands and intone: "For Ever. Amen". A line appears perpendicular to the others. Together they form a co-ordinate system with you in origin, dividing space into a faint green grid.

Drawing the Digrams:

Go to the east and draw a horizontal digram (a line) from left to right and intone: "von Neumann". Draw a shining line straight south and then west, forming a corner (aligned with the co-ordinate system).

Go to the south and draw a vertical digram upwards and intone: "Turing". Continue the line west and north.

Go to the west and draw a vertical digram downwards and intone: "Ada Lovelace". Continue the line north and east.

Go to the north and draw a horizontal digram from right to left and intone: "Babbage". Continue the line east and south, so that it forms an unbroken square around the temple. Visualise how it projects two copies, one on the floor and one in the air, so that the space enclosed is a perfect cube. Two other squares, perpendicular to the first appear and interlock to form a strong cube with each face divided into four squares, alternating black and white (total 24 squares, which correspond to the 24 permutations of Tetragrammaton)

The Invocation of the 2^2 Archangels:

Stand in origin, with your arms extended.

In the East, visualise Raphael standing, holding a LISP expression and surrounded by dancing code. Say: "Before me: Raphael!"

In the West, visualise Gabriel standing, holding a string of ones and zeros and surrounded by flowing data and graphics. Say: "Behind me Gabriel!".

In the South, visualise Michael standing, holding a debugger window and surrounded by multicoloured messages. Say: "To my right Michael!".

In the North, visualise Uriel standing, holding a binary tree and surrounded by arrays. Say "To my left Uriel!".

Intone: "Around me flames the ones and zeros, and in the column shines the byte!" Visualise how the lines flare up, and you stand inside a pillar of eight bits quickly counting up from 0 to 255.

Repeat the CompSci cross.