Fifteen

The forty laurel leaves under the lake-ice could tell a secret:
Best to keep it close to your heart, right? Don't try to sleep it
off, or turn away from the pain of the Builder's game —
even he remembered once, though now he tries not to show it.
In the moon and the moonlit snow,
the way out hides in plain sight.
Follow it down the hole.

Maxin n Relaxin With the Fathers of Modern Physics

True Story والله

<tezcatlipoca> Ahh Griz, you're wonderful (:

<grisom> Wanna inspect me for fecal matter later? :)

<tezcatlipoca> Later Grisom, later. (:

I mean, I know my cock is fucking huge (ever since I had an elephant cock grafted over top of my own) but I don't think it'll quite reach across the 10 blocks or so that separate us right now (:

<grisom> I didn't know that (about the elephant cock)

Luckily my anus is already well stretched from all that time fucking Umunmutamku, horses.

<tezcatlipoca> Yeah (about the elephant cock)

As I explained to Sean & Noel, the doctors were all like "this is stupid! You'll have no feeling!" and I don't, it's kinda like I'm wearing a huge leathery sock over my cock, and unless you stimulate only the very base of my cock, nothing happens.

I think I might've been drunk & high when I insisted on the procedure...

<grisom> So you're pretty much required to put it *allllll* the way in then :)

<tezcatlipoca> well, I would be, 'cept it's not really possible, 'cause of how they did the surgery...

<grisom> ? Do tell...

<tezcatlipoca> (truth is, I'm not quite sure what you were talking about)

but since there's no way that I could provide the blood necessary to make my elephant cock fully erect, they basically put a steel rod through it...

<grisom> I was saying that since you only have feeling at the base, you will have to insert your modified cock "up to the hilt", as it were

<tezcatlipoca> Ahh, yes indeed. Unfortunately that usually results in death or, at best, severe internal trauma for everyone who isn't an elephant, so sad to say, sex is rather unfulfilling these days. (but y'know what is fulfilling? Talking about my huge elephant cock (: )

<grisom> Well, as far as *our* plans for tonight go: You know how that Mirin Dajo guy had these like corridors of scar tissue through his body so you could stick a sword all the way through without hurting him? Yeah.

<tezcatlipoca> I don't know that Mirin Dajo guy,

but if yr saying what I think yr saying, I'm gonna be "giving you yr nutrients" as it were...

I'll have Jamee send you a picture of what I mean...

Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Fucking Awesome

I stumbled across this a long time ago, when the Internet was young and fresh, and have lately been bemoaning the fact that I haven't been able to find it again. Through the power of Google and this kind soul it has now been recovered!

A computer ritual, suitable to do before undertaking a complex programming task, debugging or connecting to Internet. Instead of a dagger, a calculator can be used, and a computer or terminal should be used as an altar.

Draw the CompSci Cross:

Stand before the altar. Point above the head and intone: "To Thee:". Visualise a shining light above you, sending down a perfect line of light.

Point to the floor and intone: "The Data". The line continues down, and develops regular markings.

Point to the right and intone: "The Code". A shining line extends to the right.

Point to the left and intone: "The Communications". The line extends to the left, and develops regular markings.

Cross the hands and intone: "For Ever. Amen". A line appears perpendicular to the others. Together they form a co-ordinate system with you in origin, dividing space into a faint green grid.

Drawing the Digrams:

Go to the east and draw a horizontal digram (a line) from left to right and intone: "von Neumann". Draw a shining line straight south and then west, forming a corner (aligned with the co-ordinate system).

Go to the south and draw a vertical digram upwards and intone: "Turing". Continue the line west and north.

Go to the west and draw a vertical digram downwards and intone: "Ada Lovelace". Continue the line north and east.

Go to the north and draw a horizontal digram from right to left and intone: "Babbage". Continue the line east and south, so that it forms an unbroken square around the temple. Visualise how it projects two copies, one on the floor and one in the air, so that the space enclosed is a perfect cube. Two other squares, perpendicular to the first appear and interlock to form a strong cube with each face divided into four squares, alternating black and white (total 24 squares, which correspond to the 24 permutations of Tetragrammaton)

The Invocation of the 2^2 Archangels:

Stand in origin, with your arms extended.

In the East, visualise Raphael standing, holding a LISP expression and surrounded by dancing code. Say: "Before me: Raphael!"

In the West, visualise Gabriel standing, holding a string of ones and zeros and surrounded by flowing data and graphics. Say: "Behind me Gabriel!".

In the South, visualise Michael standing, holding a debugger window and surrounded by multicoloured messages. Say: "To my right Michael!".

In the North, visualise Uriel standing, holding a binary tree and surrounded by arrays. Say "To my left Uriel!".

Intone: "Around me flames the ones and zeros, and in the column shines the byte!" Visualise how the lines flare up, and you stand inside a pillar of eight bits quickly counting up from 0 to 255.

Repeat the CompSci cross.

How the monkeys are fucking these days

Black Hole

Simulation of Gravitational lensing by a black hole which distorts a galaxy in the background.